Money Isn’t the Problem — Your Thinking Is

I went from working in a high-paying six-figure job that left me feeling unfulfilled to taking an 84% pay cut to do something that I genuinely love.

And ironically, that shift eventually led me to make even more money, but this time, I was feeling a lot more fulfilled.

And this journey all started with one change, and that is how I think about money and how it fits into my life.

I’m creating a story that takes you behind the scenes of that mindset shift and shows you how changing your relationship with money can eventually change everything.

We’re going to split this story into three parts.

First, we’re going to find your tipping point, where we’re going to understand the point where more money stops adding value to your life and starts taking away from it.

Then we’re going to go through something that I call the wealth paradox, which is why most people chase money endlessly, even when we know it’s not the answer, and how to break free from that cycle.

And the third thing we’re going to go over is three actionable, evidence-based steps you can take to align your money with the life you actually want to live.

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1. Finding Your Tipping Point

There’s this really interesting study that looked at the relationship between money and happiness.

Let’s call it the experience of fulfillment and how much money we need to actually feel fulfilled

And spoiler alert, the journey is far from linear. More Money Does Equal More Fulfillment

When you’re meeting your basic needs, food, shelter, and safety, each extra pound or dollar makes a noticeable difference.

It’s like stepping out of survival mode and into stability.

And then, as you move from the essentials to the niceties, things like a nicer home, better quality food, and more convenient transportation, that positive relationship between money and fulfillment feels even stronger.

You’re building comfort, and you’re building security.

But once you’ve achieved comfort and you start moving into the luxury territory, the relationship between money and fulfillment begins to change.

We hit what’s known as a fulfillment ceiling. And beyond a certain point, more money and more possessions don’t actually bring lasting happiness.

In fact, they just bring clutter both physically and mentally. The more stuff we accumulate, the less satisfaction we get from it.

And actually, the fulfillment curve reaches a peak, and then it begins to decline during the stage.

You’re spending more, you’re accumulating more, but you’re actually feeling less fulfilled. We all have a tipping point. It varies person by person.

And there are some studies, including the Princeton studywhichat was done in 2010, that suggested that this number could be around $75,000 a year.

That’s the point where, for many people, more money doesn’t necessarily equate to more happiness.

I know for me, I found that real unfulfillment phase or that tipping point at a slightly higher level, but it was definitely below thesix-figuree mark.

But ideally, you want to find what your tipping point is.

Because as soon as you find that tipping point and you feel that level of unfulfillment, that’s when you want to change the way you use your money.

But that’s a lot easier said than done. Why?

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2. The Wealth Paradox

Even though we know that there’s this tipping point and we’re aware of it, we’re in an environment where more is always better.

And the pursuit of more money almost feels like a requirement during our lifetime.

And it’s only really upon facing a life-changing event or death that we realize how insignificant this pursuit of money actually was throughout our lifetime.

And I was recently rereading the top five regrets of the dying by Bonnie Ware.

She was a nurse who spent years listening to people share their biggest regrets at the end of their lives.

• I wish I dared to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
• There were, amongst other regrets, that I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
• I wish I’d let myself be happier.
• And what’s so striking, especially when rereading the book, is that none of these regrets were about money. Not one person said I wish I earned more.
• I wish I bought more things.

And it’s very clear throughout most of our lives, we treat money like it’s the be-all and end-all.

And yes, I can’t deny money’s importance. But beyond a certain level, the constant pursuit of it is actually a distraction from what actually matters.

And this is one of those things that we know in theory, but it’s only truly understood by most people when there is a life-changing event, or you’re nearing the end of your life.

But if you can actually realize this sooner, and I don’t just mean a one-time realization.

I mean, a constant awareness where you’re regularly checking in with yourself, reminding yourself that the pursuit of money for its own sake is actually a distraction unless it’s a byproduct of something that you genuinely enjoy or care about.

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3. Aligning Your Money Decisions With Your Life Goals

So, how do you do that?

Step #1: Define Your Vision and Your Financial Path

{The why behind your money}

You need to get crystal clear about what you want out of your life. not just financially but holistically.

What experiences do you want? What relationships do you want to nurture? What purpose do you want to pursue?

I knew that I didn’t want to do a job that was unfulfilling forever.

I wanted to do something meaningful, something I loved, something I gave back and that I could always get paid to do.

And so, as soon as I made that decision, every money decision that I made, whether it was saving, spending, or earning, had to align with that vision.

I designed my finances around that goal. If something didn’t fit, I adapt to or I let it go. And that’s alignment.

Alignment is really hard to achieve and to do without having a financial plan.

If you don’t know whether you’re in income surplus or deficit, what your cash flow looks like, or how much you need to save or invest to even reach your goals, then it’s virtually impossible to take control of your life.

Step #2: Spending money on experiences and growth

We know that spending on experiences tends to bring more lasting happiness than buying stuff. Experiences create memories.

They strengthen relationships, and they shape who you are.

But an area that people forget to spend on and is arguably one of the most powerful forms of spending is investing in yourself, your skills, your knowledge, and your growth.

When you spend money learning something new, whether it’s cooking, coding, or a creative hobby, you’re not just buying knowledge; you’re also building something that can generate more value in the future.

And when your spending is aligned with growth, it feels less like a sacrifice and much more like an investment.

It feels fulfilling because it’s fueling something meaningful.

And every time I felt like I’ve hit a curve or felt unfulfilled, and I invest in some sort of learning or growth, automatically my fulfillment levels and my overall happinessincreases.

And I know it’s not a one spike thing. It’s something that is going to last forever.

Step #3: Reframe Money Through Time

The final approach comes from reframing how we think about the relationship between time and money.

There’s this really powerful exercise from the book Your Money or Your Life where you calculate your real hourly wage.

So this isn’t your salary divided by hours. It’s your salary minus all work-related expenses.

So commuting, any professional clothes that you wear, stress management, divided by all the work-related hours.

So you’re also including your commuting, your decompressing, and anything that you can allocate to work hours.

When people do this exercise, they’re often really surprised to find that their real hourly wage is much lower than they thought.

And once you do that, you can start thinking about purchases in terms of life energy. So, for instance, this new upgrade costs 40 hours of my life energy.

Is it still worth it?

When you start thinking of money in terms of time rather than just abstract numbers, this automatically makes money less relevant because you’re focusing on the truly finite resource, your time on this planet, and you start making your life decisions around that.